Finding our Happy Place

Are you happy? It's such an important question because happiness has such a huge  impact on our health, from arteries to heart, from the glow in our skin to the pep in our steps. Happy feelings influence our brain and body chemistry in ways that make us better able to cope with pain and stress and to fend off colds, flu, heart disease, and even cancer. Following these 11 steps help make us happier, day in and day out.

1-Believing in ourselves

Finding true happiness requires taking a good hard look at ourselves. The goal is to identify any off-the-wall beliefs about our self-worth and adjust them. When we're at ease with ourselves and open to others, friendships seem to blossom naturally. Just acknowledging secret self-doubts may help us develop enough humor and compassion toward ourselves to reach out to others, who, underneath are probably just like us: sometimes unsure and shy. 

2- Hanging Out with Happy Friends

Having someone in our immediate social circle who is upbeat ups our chances of happiness by 15%. Why? It seems happy people have the power to spread their feel-good vibes far and wide the same way a ripple spreads through a pond. Not only do immediate friends matter, but friends of friends, too. So make plans to have lunch with a friend or go for a walk together. It could have far-reaching benefits for our mental health.

3-Making Time for Play

We should swap our endless to-do list for some spontaneous playtime. It packs big benefits for our health, mood, mind, job, and even our relationships. When we're floating free, happy, and totally absorbed, we're taking a mini vacation from deadlines, bills, and our crazy-busy schedule. Anything counts, from enjoying a silly moment with our spouse to hosting an impromptu gathering, to cooking up a new recipe in the kitchen. 

4-Squashing Negativity

Is our inner voice quick to snap out things like, "How could you forget that, you idiot?" Sometimes the noise inside our own heads is our biggest stressor. When negative thoughts crop up, let's imagine a stop sign in our head, and tell ourselves, "Stop!" To turn things around, we should trade in put-downs for positive thoughts and affirmations. For example, when we feel tired during a workout, we should think, "I am strong" or when we start work on a difficult task, we should think, "I can accomplish anything." Empower ourselves to think positive.

5-Connecting with Others

We should make every effort to talk -- really talk -- to people who we care about. If they're far away, we should stay in touch through e-mail, phone calls, video chat, and, when we can, face-to-face visits; we'll all benefit by connecting. Get physical, too; hugs stimulate oxytocin, the "cuddle hormone," spreading a feel-good boost. Lovemaking does, too, in steady relationships (those couples report the highest happiness levels). Plus, connecting with others may keep us healthier by providing a coping mechanism for stress. No one around? Connect with others on Facebook/twitter.

6-Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Simply writing down what we're thankful for makes us healthier, happier and more optimistic. Feeling thankful comes, in part, from counting our blessings each day. Start by answering: What three things am I thankful for? We  might find that journaling gives us a better, happier outlook for each day because we're looking for moments to include in our journal each night.

7-Lending a Helping Hand

Volunteering at a nearby school or retirement residence, running to the pharmacy for a sick friend, or lending emotional support to a loved one can give our happiness quotient a big boost. How? Giving back and bonding with others inspires gratitude for what life has given us, and can help us define our purpose in life. The secret to being happy may be realizing that true happiness isn't about being high on life all the time, but slowing down enough to share our natural gifts with others.

8-Enjoying the Great Outdoors

Spending time with awesome Mother Nature makes us feel alert, enthusiastic, energetic, and simply happy. Is it the fresh air, the sunshine, the greenery? No one knows for sure. But something about being al fresco appears to help people get even bigger benefits from their workouts and they're also more likely to stick to their outdoor sports be it walking, bicycling, kayaking or an outdoor fitness class. 

9-Turning On Some Tunes

If we want to feel happy, less stressed and more energetic, we can flip on the stereo. Whether Bach, Lady Gaga or The Beatles, music that makes us feel good increases our heart and breathing rates and makes our brain release dopamine, a lovely feel-good neurotransmitter. Plus, no matter whether we enjoy listening to our favorite music alone or with friends, it will more than likely give us the mood boost we're looking for. 

10-Meditation or Pray

For some, being spiritual means going to church. For others, it means finding a quiet place to meditate and think about life. No matter how we do it or what we call it, meditation and prayer can help slow breathing and brain activity, and reduce heart rate and blood pressure. Plus, when we do pray or meditate, we're more likely to be filled with peace, joy, and other positive emotions that can also lead to positive physiological responses throughout our body. 

11-Being Realistic

Being happy means facing the fact that life sometimes stinks and that there will definitely be times when we'll be unhappy. This doesn't mean we have to lower our expectations. Instead, we should align them with reality by expecting to face challenges. A little unhappiness here and there forces us to work through problems and think about what gives us happiness so we can set new directions that may change our lives.